One of the biggest lessons on the spiritual journey is learning to love
unconditionally. However, what is often overlooked, is the importance of loving
yourself along with everything else. After all, aren't you a part of the whole of
Life? There's a wonderful Japanese poem - a haiku - which cleverly illustrates
this. It goes, "On my horse, clip-clopping through the field. Oho! I'm part of the
picture!" As you grow to realize that you are an integral part of Life's grand
picture, it becomes clear that loving yourself along with everything else is part of
the mission.
Some of you may feel uncomfortable with the idea of self love, because it's
often interpreted as being overly self involved. Many religions teach that total
selflessness is the ideal, and that self love is the antithesis of being selfless. I'm
not at all knocking selflessness, but is self love really opposed to selflessness?
And is it the same as being too self involved? What actually is self love?
Self love is largely a matter of unconditional self acceptance, with a bit of
appreciation and compassion for oneself thrown in. Can you accept yourself
unconditionally... that is, without having to fulfill certain conditions, or live up to
some particular standard? If not, what do you have to do or be, to fully accept
yourself? Do you have to be successful? Do you have to look a certain way? Do
you have to be giving all the time? Do you have to be constantly productive?
The list of conditions we may attach to self acceptance goes on and on.
What are Your Conditions for Self Love?
If you take a deep and honest look inside yourself, you may find that your
conditions for loving yourself are very similar to the (spoken or unspoken)
conditions that your parents attached to their love and approval. The idea here, is
not to put the blame on your parents. Like most humans, they were probably
doing the best they could within their limited framework. And, believe it or not,
you chose them as a necessary part of your spiritual curriculum.
However, the common tendency is to adopt these parental conditions as our own
conditions for loving ourselves. As we take on these conditions, another
interesting dynamic often occurs. We tend to project these conditions for being
loved onto Spirit. Somewhere deep in our consciousness, the belief develops that
"God will only love me if I'm _______________." (Fill in the blank with
whatever conditions you discover.) Of course this belief is absolutely erroneous,
because Spirit's love is absolutely unconditional.
But in our minds - generally our subconscious minds - our parents' conditions for
loving us, Spirit's conditions for loving us, and our own conditions for loving
ourselves, all become intertwined. As a result, we may go through life constantly
striving to meet these conditions, as an unconscious attempt to earn the love of
Spirit, family, and self. And because the conditions are rarely attained in full,
healthy self love remains elusive.
unconditionally. However, what is often overlooked, is the importance of loving
yourself along with everything else. After all, aren't you a part of the whole of
Life? There's a wonderful Japanese poem - a haiku - which cleverly illustrates
this. It goes, "On my horse, clip-clopping through the field. Oho! I'm part of the
picture!" As you grow to realize that you are an integral part of Life's grand
picture, it becomes clear that loving yourself along with everything else is part of
the mission.
Some of you may feel uncomfortable with the idea of self love, because it's
often interpreted as being overly self involved. Many religions teach that total
selflessness is the ideal, and that self love is the antithesis of being selfless. I'm
not at all knocking selflessness, but is self love really opposed to selflessness?
And is it the same as being too self involved? What actually is self love?
Self love is largely a matter of unconditional self acceptance, with a bit of
appreciation and compassion for oneself thrown in. Can you accept yourself
unconditionally... that is, without having to fulfill certain conditions, or live up to
some particular standard? If not, what do you have to do or be, to fully accept
yourself? Do you have to be successful? Do you have to look a certain way? Do
you have to be giving all the time? Do you have to be constantly productive?
The list of conditions we may attach to self acceptance goes on and on.
What are Your Conditions for Self Love?
If you take a deep and honest look inside yourself, you may find that your
conditions for loving yourself are very similar to the (spoken or unspoken)
conditions that your parents attached to their love and approval. The idea here, is
not to put the blame on your parents. Like most humans, they were probably
doing the best they could within their limited framework. And, believe it or not,
you chose them as a necessary part of your spiritual curriculum.
However, the common tendency is to adopt these parental conditions as our own
conditions for loving ourselves. As we take on these conditions, another
interesting dynamic often occurs. We tend to project these conditions for being
loved onto Spirit. Somewhere deep in our consciousness, the belief develops that
"God will only love me if I'm _______________." (Fill in the blank with
whatever conditions you discover.) Of course this belief is absolutely erroneous,
because Spirit's love is absolutely unconditional.
But in our minds - generally our subconscious minds - our parents' conditions for
loving us, Spirit's conditions for loving us, and our own conditions for loving
ourselves, all become intertwined. As a result, we may go through life constantly
striving to meet these conditions, as an unconscious attempt to earn the love of
Spirit, family, and self. And because the conditions are rarely attained in full,
healthy self love remains elusive.
| How Deep is Your Self Love? |
Meditating on self love. Here is a simple meditation for learning to accept and
appreciate yourself just as you are.
This meditation is done from the perspective of your "Spiritual Self." Your
Spiritual Self is the quiet, knowing, non-judging observer within you. All the rest
of you... your body, mind, emotions, personal traits, etc., we will refer to as your
"personality." Just for this exercise, think of your personality as a separate person.
Sit comfortably and close your eyes (after you have read these instructions).
Now begin to observe your personality... notice your thoughts, your emotions,
how your body feels, etc.
Take some time to get acquainted with your personality. Objectively think about
its various characteristics.
Next, imagine that your personality is your child, and that you are its parent.
See this child as a perfect creation of Spirit... still growing into its highest
potential, but perfect at whatever stage it's now at.
Accept your child as it is... accept it completely, just as it is.
Look at your child with appreciation and compassion. Look fondly and
compassionately at your child, with all of its strengths and positive traits, as well
as it's various weaknesses and follies.
Open your heart and embrace this child with complete, unconditional love.
Practicing any or all of the above exercises will help deepen your self love.
Although encountering challenges along the way is an integral part the spiritual
journey, you will find that healthy self love can be a tremendous aid in smoothing
out the rough and rocky stretches of your path.
appreciate yourself just as you are.
This meditation is done from the perspective of your "Spiritual Self." Your
Spiritual Self is the quiet, knowing, non-judging observer within you. All the rest
of you... your body, mind, emotions, personal traits, etc., we will refer to as your
"personality." Just for this exercise, think of your personality as a separate person.
Sit comfortably and close your eyes (after you have read these instructions).
Now begin to observe your personality... notice your thoughts, your emotions,
how your body feels, etc.
Take some time to get acquainted with your personality. Objectively think about
its various characteristics.
Next, imagine that your personality is your child, and that you are its parent.
See this child as a perfect creation of Spirit... still growing into its highest
potential, but perfect at whatever stage it's now at.
Accept your child as it is... accept it completely, just as it is.
Look at your child with appreciation and compassion. Look fondly and
compassionately at your child, with all of its strengths and positive traits, as well
as it's various weaknesses and follies.
Open your heart and embrace this child with complete, unconditional love.
Practicing any or all of the above exercises will help deepen your self love.
Although encountering challenges along the way is an integral part the spiritual
journey, you will find that healthy self love can be a tremendous aid in smoothing
out the rough and rocky stretches of your path.
| The Butterfly is a symbol of going into ones self, battered and bruised by everyday life pressures...only to emerge a transformed beauty. So very beautiful to behold and so terribly fragile to hold. That is how we are today ladies.. We want to be free to spread our wings. To soar to limits not yet defined by us. We need to know that when we flutter momentarily to earth, there will be strong, but gentle hands waiting to hold us while we catch our breath. Unfortunately, we all have baggage and issues (BAGS AND SHOES) from past life experiences, not to mention from this current life. This is my thought on life. With the first breath that we breathe, we begin this journey called life. We have experiences to experience, lessons to learn, and lessons to teach. Now as we travel this road called life, there may be many detours along the way. How we handle each detour determines our next stop along the path of learning. We may venture off the main road from time to time; we may tarry a little too long in the garden of reason. But no matter the path, we can never, ever turn around and retrace a path already traveled. In life we must confront and deal with old pains, imagine slights, and misplaced trust all to get to a better place within ourselves. LET THE HEALING BEGIN WITH FIRST LOVING YOURSELF In Love, JOI |
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